He/She Has Got Your Number

A forum for discussion of training in dressage
demi
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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby demi » Tue May 14, 2019 5:29 pm

:evil: She’s not worth your time or energy, MC.

kande50
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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby kande50 » Tue May 14, 2019 9:29 pm

musical comedy wrote:Different friend, Different comment. Today she wrote this to me in an email.

"he's pretty rideable, I"d say for just about any rider. I swear I'm very sure even you could ride him, he's very simple, as long as you ignore his size. "

Even I could ride him. :lol: Well guess what, I don't want to ride him. Pffft. It's crap like this that ruins my day.


Let me guess, either she hasn't a clue what's going on so can't judge others' abilities accurately, or she's half lit or on drugs so has no idea how her comment came across? :-)

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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby LeoApp » Wed May 15, 2019 3:15 pm

Has she ridden this horse? Has she seen you ride this horse?
Nice backhanded compliment!
I would not discuss anything with her regarding this horse, if I ever even spoke to her again. Which is doubtful.

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musical comedy
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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby musical comedy » Wed May 15, 2019 4:05 pm

kande50 wrote:Let me guess, either she hasn't a clue what's going on so can't judge others' abilities accurately
This is almost accurate. She like so many people have not yet understood how difficult it is to ride good dressage. (I know that this is in the eye of the beholder). I've always maintained that unless you have done it or experienced it, you really don't know how difficult it is.

This person is a brave to a fault rider. She's only in her 40's and quite fit as well. She could be a good rider, but she has never been in a regular training program and the few people she has had helping her are not what I consider qualified.

To clarify some misunderstanding. The horse being discussed is her horse that she recently imported. He is 18.2 hands!!! She was bragging on how wonderful and quiet he is and some other things that I do not believe. Her saying "even I could ride him" is probably because she knows I have fear issues these days. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm old with brittle bones and I'm not about to be taking risks. That said, when it comes to riding dressage, my knowledge and ability surpasses hers a lot. That's the part she doesn't realize and there is no point in arguing with her.

But yeah, my few so-called friends are not really friends and I know that. Friends do not grow on trees. Consider yourself lucky if you have a true friend.

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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby khall » Wed May 15, 2019 7:18 pm

Good God almighty who would want to ride and 18.2 hh horse?

I am lucky in my friends, many who are horsey friends, some I've known for longer than I've been married to my DH! None would be so condescending as to say something like that, how rude. So sorry MC, it has to sting but best to brush off as much as you can. People can just be obnoxious for sure.

kande50
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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby kande50 » Thu May 16, 2019 5:44 pm

musical comedy wrote:That said, when it comes to riding dressage, my knowledge and ability surpasses hers a lot. That's the part she doesn't realize and there is no point in arguing with her.

But yeah, my few so-called friends are not really friends and I know that. Friends do not grow on trees. Consider yourself lucky if you have a true friend.


That kind of comment wouldn't bother me coming from someone in her 40's, because she doesn't have a clue what it's like to be older.

I didn't have a clue what it was like to be older when I was in my 40's, and couldn't fathom why people in their 80's were still even trying to ride horses that were obviously way too much for them.

Now I get it, but pretty much had to experience it first.

I think the reason "rude" comments don't really bother me is because I'd rather people just say what they think and that way I know what they really think. Obviously, there's a limit to how honest one can be without pissing everyone else off, but because I find the other extreme way more annoying I'm okay with "moderately" filtered.

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musical comedy
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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby musical comedy » Thu May 16, 2019 7:09 pm

kande50 wrote:I'd rather people just say what they think and that way I know what they really think. Obviously, there's a limit to how honest one can be without pissing everyone else off, but because I find the other extreme way more annoying I'm okay with "moderately" filtered.
Good point, and I agree. I've been working on just saying nothing unless forced to reply.

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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby Hot4Spots » Mon Jul 01, 2019 10:11 pm

Well.....a gal at my barn has a couple of horses. One is a mellow TWH, no issues. The other is a really cute Arab. She has gone through multiple saddles, had the chiro out, had the vet out....and the horse simply "won't go." Not even when free in the round pen. Turns on her when lungeing, barely moves at the trot when he does go, etc. She was absolutely certain there was a physical reason and was doing everything she could to find out what it was. Then a relative of hers, a professional breeder/trainer visited. Got on the horse - instant forward trot. Ditto with lungeing after a couple of "oh yes you will!" moments. Gotta give the gal credit though - SHE was the one who acknowledged to her relative, "this horse has my number." She's making good progress now and after a couple of weeks, the incidents of "not forward" have all but disappeared.

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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby Hot4Spots » Fri Jul 05, 2019 6:32 pm

kande50 wrote:
musical comedy wrote:Just the fact that most experienced riders have, or have had, much more or less reactive horses pretty much blows the whole idea of rider incompetence out of the water.

l
And there are also degrees of "reactive." A friend had a horse I used to ride occasionally - a delightful black TB mare, looked like a Currier & Ives print or a Stubbs painting, barely 16 hands. She was very reactive, but never bucked, reared or misbehaved. You just had to be subtle with your aids, or you would find yourself doing movements, taking jumps, or going much faster than you asked. Perhaps "sensitive" might be a better description that "reactive," but you'd better know what you were doing when you rode her. There was nothing there about "having anyone's number," she was just sensitive.

Because the mare was good natured and calm, her owner once put her beginner boyfriend on her, intending to lead the mare around. Before she could get to the mare's head, he kicked the mare, and she was off and running around the huge outdoor arena (which contained some permanent solid jumps). We told him to sit up, pull and release, turn her in a circle, etc. He just collapsed on her back and wrapped his arms around her neck. I was on my tough old Appy gelding and I didn't chase her, but tried to head her off to no avail. Suddenly, she stopped. We ran up to him and helped him off. "How did you get her to stop?" we asked. His reply? "I told her 'whoa'!!" :lol: :roll: :lol:

kande50
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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby kande50 » Sat Jul 06, 2019 1:11 pm

I use "reactive" to describe anxiety/fear reactions more than reactions to the aids. A reactive horse is one who comes around the corner and sees something and does a 180 and takes off. Ideally, such a horse would also be sensitive, so when the rider redirects him he would respond to the aids. :-)

I have a reactive horse (probably similar to yours) and a reactive mule. The horse is sensitive so he's easy enough to "control". The mule is insensitive, so when he reacts to something my only choice is to hang on, because he's not going to stop until he's put enough distance between himself and the scary thing. The horse is in some ways more difficult because he is sensitive, so it's easy enough to block him from running off when he reacts but then I risk rearing or bucking. The mule is a different risk because I can't block him so am at the mercy of his questionable judgement concerning a safe escape route.

Twenty years ago the risk was part of what made riding fun and interesting, although I can't say that it contributes much, anymore. :-)

kande50
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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby kande50 » Sat Jul 06, 2019 1:24 pm

Hot4Spots wrote:Got on the horse - instant forward trot. Ditto with lungeing after a couple of "oh yes you will!" moments. Gotta give the gal credit though - SHE was the one who acknowledged to her relative, "this horse has my number." She's making good progress now and after a couple of weeks, the incidents of "not forward" have all but disappeared.


There may still be a physical reason, but the "oh yes you will" moments just gave the horse no choice. And if it was pain then the owner now has a horse who will work for her even though he's in pain, which could be considered good progress depending on how she feels about working a horse who may be in pain.

If a horse knows what we want him to do and isn't feeling blocked from doing it (by pain, fear, confusion, etc.), it takes very little to motivate him to do it, which makes me question why there would need to be an "oh yes you will" moment in the first place, and why anyone would try to characterize a horse's confusion/fear/pain as having the owner's number?

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Re: He/She Has Got Your Number

Postby Hot4Spots » Sat Jul 06, 2019 11:32 pm

kande - she had the horse checked by the vet/chiropractor, blood work was done, had saddle fit checked, as if it were a PPE, etc. All the horse health care professionals say there is nothing physically wrong with the horse. He is moving more freely now and has noticeable suspension in his trot, but if she doesn't push him, he reverts to a jog; but she's able to use less push as he now realizes she will keep asking him to go forward. Even when he was not forward, his ears were up and he showed no signs of discomfort. He apparently was just lazy and strong-minded about it. As for "having her number," she is not a poor rider, but she WAS concerned that he might have discomfort, so she would back off so he would take advantage of that, plus she had all The vets, saddle fitters, etc out. The less she asked, the less he did - he had her trained When her sister rode him, he just ambled along, she used her legs strongly, and he produced a lovely forward trot with no indication of distress, and she used neither whip nor spurs, just leg.


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