Saw this quote:

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demi
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Saw this quote:

Postby demi » Wed May 15, 2019 3:09 am

on a facebook page the other day. It was from Kyra Kyrklund:

“A good rider lives on the small number of good steps and he builds on them. He forgets about the bad things. Inexperienced riders think mostly about the bad things.”

Obviously, one can’t just completely forget about the bad things, but they need to be put into perspective.

I have been thinking about watching video of Rocky and being able to see how hard she is trying. This is such a good thing and until the other day, I wasn’t fully realizing it. There were a lot of bad moments in those vids, but I could see why they were happening (for the most part) and I could see where and when we started to fall apart, and I had the feeling that the bad moments are just temporary, until she gets stronger. So the next day in the arena, I recognized (felt) quickly when Rocky was giving me her all, and I was able to use that feeling, and my “good girls” became so sincere. Horses are uncanny about knowing when we really mean something, (whether positive OR negative!) That’s where the “building on the small number of good steps” comes in. A sincere reward is VERY effective, and the small number of good steps increases much more quickly.

The bottom line for me, is to recognize those good steps and not worry about the bad stuff. I have a good and trusted trainer, I am doing my homework, and the issue will resolve without undue worry. Worrying gets in the way, complicates the issues, and slows down the incresase in number of good steps.

Ryeissa
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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby Ryeissa » Wed May 15, 2019 11:31 am

Yeah, I think this is true, but in general people remember the negative more than the positive as 'self preservation". I think that I don't worry about the bad stuff as much as I understand why they happen and how to correct it.

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Flight
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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby Flight » Wed May 15, 2019 11:41 am

I think I enjoy riding (dressage) so much more since I've started recognising that my horses do try and to build on the small good steps. I feel much more satisfied and less frustrated.

demi
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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby demi » Thu May 16, 2019 1:11 am

Ryeissa wrote:Yeah, I think this is true, but in general people remember the negative more than the positive as 'self preservation".


I don’t know. It seems like I’ve known a lot of people who focus on the negative because they are perfectionists and the bad moments really bug them. Not stuff like violent bucking, or rearing over backwards, but stuff like late changes, or mediocre lengthenings. Even some trainers that should know that these things take time.

Your posts about Riot always seem positive and the pictures look like he is enjoying what he does.

demi
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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby demi » Thu May 16, 2019 1:20 am

Flight wrote:I think I enjoy riding (dressage) so much more since I've started recognising that my horses do try and to build on the small good steps. I feel much more satisfied and less frustrated.


You’re one that has progressed quickly and maybe it’s partly because you do recognize that your horses are trying for you. Your horses also look freely forward and harmonious.

I think the ones that don’t appreciate the “small number of good steps, and build on them”, end up with tense horses that lack a freely forward, harmonious way of going...

demi
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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby demi » Thu May 16, 2019 1:32 am

I guess the reason this is on my mind is that so many of the trainers that I’ve worked with never seem to appreciate the small number of good steps. The best trainers I’ve had, the BNT’s usually, DO seem to appreciate when my horses show nice moments and let me know clearly. And the trainer I have now is very positive, while still working me hard and relentlessly correcting me, BUT, she never forgets to let me know when we’ve had a good moment. She always ends our lessons with a good positive comment. Not just blowing smoke up my a$$, but comments that let me know we’re improving. I thrive on that and I think most people do.

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Flight
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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby Flight » Thu May 16, 2019 2:30 am

I still try and think about why the bad moments are happening but I am realising they are happening because the horse isn't prepared enough, strong enough or I'm asking wrong.
The instructor I'm with now helps with recognising the small 'good' steps and those little feelings of what I'm trying to achieve, and if I keep trying to get those little moments of good it's so much better for my brain and my mood :D

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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby Moutaineer » Thu May 16, 2019 4:05 am

Mette (who has worked with Kyra K quite a bit) will say "Good--good enough for now. Perfect, no. and next time I see you it might not be good enough..." but what she's looking for is a progression, rather than instant perfection.

My regular trainer is all about recognizing baby steps, too. I really appreciate this approach. It's remarkable how much you can achieve in small, celebrated, good quality increments that the horse thinks are fun and rewarding. This should be happy and playful for both of you, not a grind.

Having said that, neither of them are going to be blowing smoke. My regular trainer simply hates the concept of "it's fine." Either it's good, or it's a work in progress, but it's not "fine." That's a cop-out, lazy trainer phrase.

I have become a much more patient and even-tempered person, with horses and people, (especially those who make an effort,) since I started to take dressage seriously.

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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby Ryeissa » Thu May 16, 2019 11:54 am

demi wrote:
Ryeissa wrote:Yeah, I think this is true, but in general people remember the negative more than the positive as 'self preservation".


I don’t know. It seems like I’ve known a lot of people who focus on the negative because they are perfectionists and the bad moments really bug them. Not stuff like violent bucking, or rearing over backwards, but stuff like late changes, or mediocre lengthenings. Even some trainers that should know that these things take time.

Your posts about Riot always seem positive and the pictures look like he is enjoying what he does.


yeah, I get that. I am a perfectionist too. I just think that my understanding of why things happening keeps me "in check" so its not so tempting to dwell on it. Its hard to find trainers who can keep mentioning positive aspects not just what needs fixing- things happen so fast it is hard to balance both aspects.
For me getting pics and videos helps me stay more positive--- things feel worse than they look and can see real progress in the work. Thank you for your complements, Riot is very fun and happy. Dressage is still very hard but this does help a lot.

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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby blob » Thu May 16, 2019 3:54 pm

I think one of the most important things to remember in riding/training (and also sometimes the hardest thing) is that nothing is linear--things are constantly changing. while one thing is improving, another thing might seem to be falling apart. But such is the nature of riding.

Mountaineer, I very much agree with that quote you shared from Kyra. I think it's important also to remember that our bar/expectation changes. The canter work might very well be improving, but so are my expectations. So it's important to recognize that my expectation is changing--otherwise it'll feel like there is never improvement.

I sometimes joke that my riding/training progression is like a basket and it can only hold so many balls at once. If I pick up one thing, I might drop another. And as i reach to get that back, another thing might fall out. As you move up, the basket gets bigger to accommodate more balls, but there are also more balls to juggle.

It's an imperfect metaphor, but is often helpful for me to accept the forwards, backwards, sideways of training.

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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby Ryeissa » Thu May 16, 2019 4:01 pm

blob wrote:I sometimes joke that my riding/training progression is like a basket and it can only hold so many balls at once. If I pick up one thing, I might drop another. And as i reach to get that back, another thing might fall out. As you move up, the basket gets bigger to accommodate more balls, but there are also more balls to juggle.


that is so true.

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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby kande50 » Thu May 16, 2019 5:15 pm

demi wrote:I think the ones that don’t appreciate the “small number of good steps, and build on them”, end up with tense horses that lack a freely forward, harmonious way of going...


I think it's easy to miss a lot of this at first, because we get focused on the fancy "gee whiz" stuff and want to get to that as soon as possible. But then, once we do it for awhile and start to be able to see tense and forced vs soft and calm, and begin to realize that there aren't any shortcuts worth taking, that's when things seem to actually start to progress.

I don't even think of it as good and bad anymore, but as wanted or unwanted. IOW, do I want this behavior? Yes? Okay, then reward it. No? Okay, then ignore it and keep trying to explain to him what it is that I do want.

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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby kande50 » Thu May 16, 2019 5:20 pm

Moutaineer wrote:I have become a much more patient and even-tempered person, with horses and people, (especially those who make an effort,) since I started to take dressage seriously.


I've become more patient and even tempered since the damned hormones went away. I miss the drive, but it's been worth losing that to get rid of the impatience and perfectionism.

Moutaineer
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Re: Saw this quote:

Postby Moutaineer » Thu May 16, 2019 6:01 pm

kande50 wrote:
Moutaineer wrote:I have become a much more patient and even-tempered person, with horses and people, (especially those who make an effort,) since I started to take dressage seriously.


I've become more patient and even tempered since the damned hormones went away. I miss the drive, but it's been worth losing that to get rid of the impatience and perfectionism.


Well, there's that, too :lol: :lol: :lol:


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