Page 1 of 1
Rambling on about nothing
Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 1:32 pm
by PaulaO
I've been feeling melancholy yesterday and today. It all started with hearing a Partridge Family song and feeling sad that David Cassidy is dead (don't judge!). Work is annoying me. Nothing bad, but lots of little things. This is the weirdest. I don't feel I love Ariel like I did Bob. He became my world after my divorce. Looking back, it wasn't emotionally the healthiest thing, but it's how I coped. I don't feel like that about Miss A., which is actually a good thing and probably normal and how life should be. But my world doesn't revolve around her. She gets the best care and I fuss over her and would seriously hurt anyone who tried to harm her. And it makes me happy to see her. She brings me joy.
I guess I'm adjusting to the new normal.
Re: Rambling on about nothing
Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 2:32 pm
by Abby Kogler
I think you sound quite normal >;->
Re: Rambling on about nothing
Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 5:21 pm
by Angfreda
Yo was my world. The line from the Jerry McGuire movie 'You complete me' was true... he made me who I was meant to be.
He made me a complete me. He was a piece of my puzzle that had been missing all my life.
I was, for all my life until then, a horseman without a horse.
Sure, I rode lots of horses, but they weren't mine, the bond was different.
Was it unhealthy? Meh, not at the time. It saved me.
It was the healthiest thing I could do, and it kept me healthy all the years I had him to have someone, something to care about more than myself.
Now that I don't have him, now that I've lost Melly too- with whom I had hoped to have a similar relationship- and lost a place in a barn where I felt at home, a sense of belonging... is decidedly unhealthy for me.
Learning who I am now, without horses. Yes, a new normal. A different kind of 'healthy'.
I've been thinking about him and Melly more than usual because April 15th was the anniversary of the day we put Yo down, April 16th is Mellys' birthday, and April 23rd 2018 will be Yo's 33rd birthday. Thank goodness for leftover Easter candy.
Re: Rambling on about nothing
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:51 pm
by Ryeissa
I think that makes a lot of sense, each horse represents a different time for us and they have unique characters.
Keep in mind things can change and grow with Ariel too, give it some time.
"And it makes me happy to see her. She brings me joy."
that is awesome! I am so happy for you!