A spin off: Mare, Gelding or doesn't matter for you?

[piedmontfields]

I thought it would be fun to spin off this thread from the Virtual Shopper comments.

Quite a few of us on this board seem to have/ride mares...but I don't know if it was a deliberate choice, luck or just the way it turned out. What say you? Are you a "mare person"? Or a "never mare" person?

I've been thinking about this a bit as I would love to get another horse at some point...and would love to have it be one that could take enough of a joke that I'd feel fine having my DH hack the horse (I can sort of do that with my mare as he is a decent rider, but frankly, she doesn't take a joke). I tend to prefer mares as they are quite serious and devoted---however, in my experience most have been rather sensitive and a bit picky about life (in their view, there is a proper way to ride, to manage a farm, to deal with other horses, etc.). My DH is probably more of a gelding person, although he has certainly had good experiences with kind mares, too. And it is easier to find a tall Iberian gelding than mare...

When I was horse hunting, I looked at both geldings and mares, as I thought for me the overall temperament and training was more important than sex. I will probably do the same next time.

[Chisamba]

I think a good horse is a good horse. Generalizing is rarely accurate but I think mares are kinda one person animals and geldings are more amenable to sharing riders

But there are good and unsuitable in both genders

[musical comedy]

I was thinking about this after Scruffy's post. It could be (at least I think it is for me) that some of us already form an opinion about the horse based on its' gender. I cannot tell you why I like mares and don't like geldings. I have given a few geldings a chance, but I couldn't bond with any of them. My now retired gelding was a late cut (age 7) gelding that has a lot of stallion tendency which makes him interesting and somewhat an exception. Still, I never loved on him like I have my mares.

When I go horse shopping, and especially this last time, I only looked for mares. This will be my last horse, so I don't have to worry about looking again. I will say that a lot of AA's (and even pros) don't care for mares, so if future selling of the horse is a possibility, that's something to consider.

[Ponichiwa]

I've currently got one of each. Buuuut I also keep bargain-shopping for horses, and screening out by gender tends to severely limit the options. My mare is a very different ride than any of my previous horses (mainly geldings) have been, but she is now a very fun ride. She took a long time to believe I was worth listening to.

I do think you can find a better deal on mares vs. geldings, especially in the middle of the horse price spectrum. That falls apart as you get to the extreme low-end and extreme high-end, I'm sure.

I'm currently in the process of running the poorest-controlled temperament experiment in the world: 5yo unbroke stallion. Gelded him, considerably upped his food intake, and put him in work. Let's roll those dice!

[musical comedy]

My mare is a very different ride than any of my previous horses (mainly geldings) have been, but she is now a very fun ride. She took a long time to believe I was worth listening to.

If I recall correctly, she didn't have the best starts?? No matter the sex, how they were raised and started makes a big difference imo. When I was horse shopping, that was a big consideration for me. I ruled out dealers and I ruled out horses I didn't feel I could sleuth out their background. That's why it took me so long to buy. Haven't you heard bad stories about those young horses imported from Holland where they have no manners and aren't used to anything because they weren't handled a lot as babies.

[Srhorselady]

There was a recent study done, sorry can’t remember where I read it, that connectected horse temperament and coat color. The study showed that some/different color genes were located near various behavior traits in the dna. I believe this study looked at spookiness and reactivity in particular and were able to positively correlate some of the stereotypes based on coat color. It was an ongoing study and this was very preliminary but it was interesting. I currently have a red quarterhorse mare who matches every stereotype, a buckskin quarterhorse gelding, and a dark bay warm blood gelding. I love my mare. She has lots of personality, but for riding my choice is the geldings all the way!

[kande50]

I never have cared about breed, size, color, or gender, and up until recently have always wanted young horses without much training. But now that I'm pushing 70 I want horses who are old enough that I probably won't outlive them, and am quite a bit more interested in calm and steady than I ever was before. But I still don't care about breed, color, size, or gender.

[khall]

I've been lucky that I have bred raised and owned and started quite a few mares now in my life. My mares by far have been easiest for me than my geldings have been. Rip is the only one I bred, raised and started though I have owned other geldings, one pretty difficult but very talented OTTB and one mutt gelding that was my first horse, $500 special. and have ridden I don't know how many geldings and stallions over the years. I still for the most part prefer mares. They tend to be more sensitive than the geldings, much more workmanlike and kind. Geldings can be big goofs, mares not. Mares do require the rider to be fair, they usually do not tolerate harsh handling (why I wonder if Isabelle W has changed her ways, she is riding 2 mares now). With a good mare they are worth gold IMO. Rip's dam was easy peasy to start (WTC in a field 2 weeks US) and is surprisingly tolerant of mistakes, she has taught beginner trotting riders with pleasure. Rip is not, would take you for a ride if you made one! My filly's dam was not tolerant of mistakes i.e. NOT a beginner rider horse because she was so very sensitive. I loved working with her though because of that sensitivity. You would not hang on her!! For my personal horses I like sensitive but sane. Mares tend to fit that bill. I have never ridden or owned a mare that had cycle issues. In fact most of mine I never know when they are in season.

[Ponichiwa]

My mare is a very different ride than any of my previous horses (mainly geldings) have been, but she is now a very fun ride. She took a long time to believe I was worth listening to.

If I recall correctly, she didn't have the best starts?? No matter the sex, how they were raised and started makes a big difference imo. When I was horse shopping, that was a big consideration for me. I ruled out dealers and I ruled out horses I didn't feel I could sleuth out their background. That's why it took me so long to buy. Haven't you heard bad stories about those young horses imported from Holland where they have no manners and aren't used to anything because they weren't handled a lot as babies.

You are correct-- I'm home #5 (I think?) for Kiwi, and I got her when she was 3. I know a half-sister of hers, though, that is similarly protective of her personal space/challenging to ride and she was bought directly from the breeder as a yearling. So, n=2, but I do think there's a bit of genetics at play here in those ponies' spiciness.

I absolutely agree with you re: imports; enough to scare me off ever importing a horse without having significant contacts/relationships overseas. There are some real pros over there who can make great videos out of almost any horse-- can't always believe what you see.

[Sunshine2Me]

As others have stated, it makes no difference to me. A good horse is a good horse. My last horse was a chestnut Arab gelding. My current horse is a chestnut QH mare. I didn't search out a chestnut, it just happened that way. I don't care about breed, sex, color, etc., although I would probably not get a grey, due to the melanoma tendency, and flea bitten grey would be my favorite color!

[Imperini]

I can get along with either but then I think I've only met one horse in the history of ever that I truly didn't like and he was a stallion. One of my favorite horses of the past was a stallion, so my dislike of the other horse wasn't specifically gender related though I think he would have probably been less of a rotten horse if he'd been a gelding instead.

My current horse is a mare, a spotted buckskin mare if we're going to add color to the conversation.. people do often have strong opinions one way or the other regarding appaloosas. Anyway she's not sensitive and she's incredibly forgiving however she's not going to offer you her best unless you're giving her your best which can be said of most horses I suppose but it feels more like a mare/clever horse thing the way she goes about it.

[PaulaO]

I always swore I would never have a mare. Never. In hindsight, it was because I didn’t like the mare turnout at my previous barn. Well, you all know who came into my life. I will never own another horse, but if I were shopping, I would not rule out a mare. Ariel is far more affectionate and bonded to me than Bob was, and she is far more trainable. That could be because now I know what I am doing...I think.

[heddylamar]

All redheaded mares

I've ridden stallions and geldings too, but other than one stallion -- who wasn't mine -- none really called out to me the way my mares do.

I like the snark, the "are you sure?" (subtext: dumb human), and the challenge of talking to them just right. Once I've won their trust, my mares have all been loyal and reliable.

But, if I were horse shopping, I'd check anything with 4 legs with good videos within my price range. Who knows what you'll find?

[Hayburner]

Here was my response in another post:
When I was looking I refused to even look at a mare - In my boarding over the years - I found the mares to just not click with me...maybe I gave them a vibe that I wasn't a mare person..LOL....Loved my heart horse who was a gelding. I did part lease a mare that was very sweet and easy going - I only rode her for a couple of months but she semi-changed my view on mares. But, I still didn't want to own one!

Low and behold a friend talked me in to just going to "look" at a mare. I was standoffish with her - I didn't want to like her simply because she was a mare. BUT, she was the perfect size for me, her temperament at the time was super - and she passed her PPE.

I did end up buying her - yes, I've had many struggles but deep down, I love this mare! She has many good points and is very affectionate, but she can also be hell on wheels...thank GOD for Regumate....LOL..

She's super sensitive physically and mentally, my gelding was emotionally sensitive. I do tend to think that she prefers one rider, and even though I make many mistakes she tolerates them, but she prefers to be ridden the same way and correctly or she gets fussy and will toss her head around to vent about it. She tests me - but, ends up giving in if I hold true to what I want and don't want.

Now having owned one of each - it would be a toss up as to my preference.

[exvet]

Having owned/trained/backed/competed mares, geldings and stallions, I can honestly say I don't have a preference when it comes to my own riding. A good horse is a good horse; but, I am one who likes a personality and an independent thinker as long as it's sensible. I don't have a problem establishing myself as the leader so I think that helps. I can handle the hormones and the testing the waters by horses in general. My broodmares were steady eddies and ones that I could easily put beginners on for the occasional trail ride when family/friends/visitors came (otherwise they wouldn't have been broodmares). I had geldings that I could do the same with and then geldings who no one else could/can ride. My last stallion was far easier than at least two of my geldings who I also competed and is one I have put others on to go trail riding with me because he was the more predictable mount and thus safer. Sex of an animal only becomes a criteria of highest priority when I"m looking to breed; otherwise, it's not really even a consideration of mine.

[orono]

I'm a mare person (currently owned by one), but I've owned both and I keep an open mind when shopping.

[silk]

Mares all the way for me. I've ridden but never owned geldings, and generally find them a bit "blah". I've known some awesome geldings, don't get me wrong, they're just not for me. Much prefer the spark and sass (and connection) of a mare!

[Quelah]

The love of my life for many many years was a mare. Now I have geldings. My two dearest friends had/have mares that made me hate mares. My friend's Belgian mare kicked me on a trail ride (unprovoked), my Shire mare's quick reaction saved my leg. She saw it coming and spun away so I got a tap not a shattered leg. My BFF's mare is living at my house because my friend is quite ill. I love my friend, I hate her horse. She's a bitch and she kicks and you can't have another horse near her, but my friend likes riding her on the trail (I won't ride with her, she tried to kill Prada once) and I'm hoping she will ride her again. I tell the mare a lot, if you weren't such a hag you could have a nicer life, but she's quite content by herself in a pasture and she's not my horse so it's not my job to try to change her, just to take care of her and keep her safe until my friend can do horses again.

I have bought a young mare, by all accounts she's the "good kind of mare" and I'll agree there's nothing better. She's young and growing up and so far seems to be just lovely, fingers crossed.

[StraightForward]

I switched to mares because my gelding had to be retired, and as a boarder, I can't afford to have another retiree. At least with a (good quality) mare, there's the option to sell on as a broodmare if an injury happens. I unfortunately had to exercise that option with Pickle. I don't know what I would have done if I'd been stuck with a gelding with her issues - probably tried to give it to my trainer for free.

Anyway, I kind of scratch my head when people quickly describe a certain mare as "not-mareish". I know what they mean, but I find most mares quite sweet, and only a few of them are bitches giving the rest of them a bad name. I have two chestnut mares now and they're both sweethearts, as were the last three mares I've owned. The only mare I've had a problem with was a cutting-bred QH mare I rode when I was a teenager. In hindsight, she probably had a pain issue or needed to be on Regumate or something, but she could be nasty, and her daughter was nasty too and put her owner in the hospital.

[Tuddy]

My first horse was a mare, and I would love to have another mare. I love my geldings, but they can be little boys sometimes and it drives me nuts.

[DJR]

Although my first two horses were mares, I ended up riding geldings most of my adult life. But now I have a homebred filly that I CANNOT wait to develop into my riding partner! And I've been interested in bringing along a mare for awhile now.

For me, though, it's the horse not the gender that matters to me.

[piedmontfields]

Yes, I think mares are very serious and take no prisoners compared to many geldings.

That said, today was quite the mare hack day. Said mare was perfect for the first couple of miles. Then she lost her s%#&. The cattle at the farm next door were calling and running and acting freaked out. Miss perfect mare was ready to join that herd and run for the hills.

So we did 100s of meters of shoulder in to renvers at walk (not quite to Denver) until I got to more level ground. Then I worked her round white butt off with transitions, lateral work, mini-half passes (edge of a field) and a couple of flying changes to her shock. This was certainly one of your "know your mare" moments: My good mare when panicked responds well to complex demands: She grunts, takes the demands seriously and eventually relaxes in a deep way with hard work. A different good mare might explode with that program. Then we walked home, with said mare offering to kick/kill the boarder dog off on its own on our road back. I said "no thanks" and she said "OK. But I'm ready when you need me."

[Ponichiwa]

Too funny about the dog. Did I ever share the Kiwi Versus the Turkeys story? It's not long: we were on a trail ride when she was probably 4 yrs old and not terribly broke, per se. I was taking in the beautiful fall colors and walking along the edge of a corn field when I heard this loud rustle. Before I knew it there were turkeys everywhere and Kiwi went in full seek-and-destroy mode. The fall air was full of hooves and feathers and turkeys. Somehow I made it out of the fracas still in the saddle (to this day, no idea how I did that); looked backwards and there was turkey carnage all over the formerly idyllic pasture.

She did the same thing to a loose (vicious) dog when I was riding. If I'd have been on my doofus of a gelding, we probably would have been in for a world of hurt.

[piedmontfields]

Oh my! Miss Kiwi, you are scary-mare. I do get those seek and destroy moments. It's "survival mare" at that point :-0

Em actually is my bird-watching horse. She is awesome at spotting hawks, eagles, turkeys, sandpipers, etc. and saying "See! Look at that! I found it." Only a great horned owl swooppng by us on a wooded trail truly freaked her out (it was awesome).

Each year, I try to orient Emi to "her deer." These are the deer that populate the near hill where we do trot and canter hill sets, and who over time learn to watch politely (sometimes lying down on the adjacent hill) as the "huge mare" goes by....Usually by December I can say to her "Look, your deer are ready to watch you do your work out!" and she snorts and puts her head down.

[khall]

Wow Ponichiwa! Kiwi has some ninja skills!

Brave mares vs chicken gelding: Blowing and windy one day, had a branch get in the pasture where Rip my filly and their now deceased pasture mate were. Rip was having a duck, snorting and trotting back and forth not going near it, pasture mate was not interested and never lifted his head from the food, filly went and had a sniff and then wanted to carry it around. God love a brave horse! Rip is not one:)

I hope the turkeys don't make an appearance when I am riding Rip (I looked out into our back yard and saw 30 or so of varying sizes!), I may not survive that encounter! I know one day I went to go ride in the arena (fenced) made my way down there to find a small flock of turkey vultures parked on the fence around the arena. I turned around deciding it was an omen not to ride in the arena that day!

[Tarlo Farm]

There was a time I swore NO MARES!!

Then I wound up with four of them. I grew to absolutely love them. But they are, in general, a little more trouble than the geldings given same breed, same age, relatively same background. If I outlive my 14 year old mare - and I will hopefully outlive her 24 year old mother - my final riding horse will likely be a gelding.

[Hot4Spots]

My first two horses were mares. I moved on not because they were mares, but because of very specific issues: The first had talent as a jumper, but hated to jump! The second, purchased as a green 4 year old just trotting over x-es, turned out to be a klutz. Dangerously so. By then I was eventing, and she was such a sweetie, I hung on to her for 4 years, but when someone showed me a picture from cross-country where her knees were pointing straight down and my trainer starting screaming, "That horse is going to kill you!" I decided it was time to change. My subsequent horses have all been geldings, but that is just coincidence. At the time of my last purchase, I had a choice of two - a mare and a gelding. They were the same size, same age, similar breeding, similar price, both good movers.....and it just came down to I liked the gelding's color better, everything else being equal. LOL

[Tsavo]

I had a mare for 18 years and it was so good I only looked at mares for my next horse. I ended up with a gelding who I have had 14 years next month. I love my boy but I have not bonded with him like I did with my mare. I am going to try very hard to hold out for a mare for my last horse. I really don't think I will settle again. And if I never clean a weenie again it will be too soon. And my horse is very easy to clean!

[Red's Mom]

Over the years I have had several mares and several geldings. I have had the best relationships with the mares. Mares take some time to bond, but once they do, they really make a commitment. I have had some real special magical moments with mares. I think they have ESP, they can read your mind. Two of my mares, have been one person horses. They just didn't want anyone else to get on their backs, and they made that perfectly clear!

Hopefully, my riding horse that I have now will be the last one I own. He is 5 and I am 60. When I was looking for a new horse, I didn't think of the gender. He just seemed to be the right one. I love his easy going temperament. I wanted him the moment I set eyes on him. I have owned him since April, 2017. I am still very happy with him.

I also have a 12h driving pony mare. PHEW! She is a pistol! She is a lot of fun to drive, but she is very opinionated. She takes her job of driving very seriously and tries her hardest, but it tkaes her a long time to settle down at shows. if it is a very busy, loud show, forget it. I would much rather have an easy going gelding for competive driving.

[chantal]

Doesn't matter. I've owned a mare, 1 stallion and 2 geldings. Ridden tons of mares and love their sense of fairness. They call you on it every time. Some are more forgiving than others, but wow, they want a tactful rider. I love that, um, hate it at times. But it makes one a better rider. Stallions are fun and geldings are sweet. Or not. There are some generalizations you can make, but each horse is a teacher if you are willing to learn. So much fun!

[Kyra's Mom]

I have owned 2 geldings and 4 mares. The only one I didn't really mesh with was the one gelding I bought as a mature, trained horse. And it was meshing emotionally. He was well trained, didn't have any bad vices but I just never clicked with him on an emotional level. I suppose you don't have to but for me that is part of the enjoyment. All the others I have bought as yearlings or 2 year olds that I have finished growing up and training myself. They didn't all grow up to be dressage stars but they were/are all solid citizens as riding horses and that has been quite satisfying. I don't think it has been the gender difference for me.

Susan

[khall]

chantal I beg to differ than geldings are sweet!! LOL! Come handle Rip for a bit and see:) Now yes I have had geldings that were very sweet, but I have also had geldings that were a PIA.

I have actually found that most of my mares to be very sweet. My 4 yr old is a pocket pony and her dam was very much so too. Over the years I prefer the mare temperaments that I have owned than the geldings (overall). Even if the mares are not as lovey dovey (Rip's dam can and has always been a bit cranky about personal space) yet they have always always been hard working with an incredible amount of try to them. Geldings can be the class clowns.

[Ryeissa]

Geldings.

[goneriding]

I have had two mares as an adult - one incredibly difficult and one incredibly great. The great one is the best horse ever - she's bold and curious and willing and very very smart. She seems like she has agency, if you know what I mean. She's her own horse, but she uses her powers for good. I had the difficult one first, and though she was very very difficult, I came to love her sensitivity, thinking mind and work ethic, and I think I'm a mare person now.

[Chisamba]

I think there is a ton of sexism in barns. If z mare does anything at all, she is marsh, bitchy, a slut. Or whatever insulting gender related term. Not such thing with geldings. I'd a gelding pins his ears, oh he is unhappy. If a mare pins her ears, shes a bitch. I've seen it hundreds of times.

That said, I have had mostly mares , mostly because I could get better value for my budget

[kande50]

I think there is a ton of sexism in barns. If z mare does anything at all, she is marsh, bitchy, a slut. Or whatever insulting gender related term. Not such thing with geldings. I'd a gelding pins his ears, oh he is unhappy. If a mare pins her ears, shes a bitch. I've seen it hundreds of times.

This is not only true on the subject of mares, but with just about every stereotype to which anyone subscribes.

When I hear such claims my first thought is, "I wonder if this belief would be confirmed in a double blind study?"

I currently have one mare, an old Halflinger, who is a paragon of virtue. She's been around for 27 years and she's always been a very easy horse, so I guess there wouldn't be any confirmation for any anti-mare bias there. I had a TB-Trak for several years, and a TB-QH for 31 years before that, and they were both really nice mares who seldom even showed heat. I think the Trak gelding I have now is actually very similar in temperament to both the mares I had before, but he just has more Arab in him, which may explain why he's so much spookier? Or maybe he's not actually spookier, but I'm just so much older that I'm much more aware of any reactions that might result in us parting ways?

But my point is, that there are so many other explanations for differences in behavior that it's likely inaccurate to try to pin all, or even most of it, on gender.

[StraightForward]

I think there is a ton of sexism in barns. If z mare does anything at all, she is marsh, bitchy, a slut. Or whatever insulting gender related term. Not such thing with geldings. I'd a gelding pins his ears, oh he is unhappy. If a mare pins her ears, shes a bitch. I've seen it hundreds of times.

That said, I have had mostly mares , mostly because I could get better value for my budget

Maresogyny.

[Chisamba]

I think there is a ton of sexism in barns. If z mare does anything at all, she is marsh, bitchy, a slut. Or whatever insulting gender related term. Not such thing with geldings. I'd a gelding pins his ears, oh he is unhappy. If a mare pins her ears, shes a bitch. I've seen it hundreds of times.

That said, I have had mostly mares , mostly because I could get better value for my budget

Maresogyny.

Very clever