Old friend died

Sue B
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 1185
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2015 2:55 pm
Location: Spud country (Idaho)

Old friend died

Postby Sue B » Mon Oct 19, 2020 4:43 pm

No, not a horse, a human. I met her in high school; we played with our horses together...teaching each other the finer points of dressage, galloping through hay fields, and exploring the mountains. Together we put on horse shows for other kids in the county and dreamed of one day having "fancy" horses like the rich kids up the road. She was the same age as I but a year ahead in school. She went off to college, I took a year off and did the "working student" thing in California. We managed to go to the same University for one year, then she took off to live at a racetrack in her camper after her beloved horse died young and tragically. Ultimately, she went to pharmacy school and acquired a Doctor of Pharmacy, and I became a vet, but by then, I could not take her phone calls any longer. You see, somewhere after high school, she became an alcoholic. I would get drunken phone calls in the middle of the night from places all over the world. Always the same...always threatening suicide, always wanting me to drop everything and come rescue her. I couldn't do it and maintain my own sanity, and so over the years I limited contact to a few phone calls a year and sending emails that were never answered. Saturday night, her sister called to let me know that the police found her deceased in her house--presumably of natural causes.

I'm terribly sad, terribly conflicted. I wish, just once, she would've been brave enough to fight her demons; that she could've seen the world for its endless possibilities instead of its deficiencies. I wish...

khall
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 2515
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2015 1:47 am

Re: Old friend died

Postby khall » Mon Oct 19, 2020 7:08 pm

I’m so sorry SueB. It’s hard when you can’t help them. I lost a friend to suicide. She was an accomplished woman and a commercial pilot. It’s hard. I know.

User avatar
StraightForward
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 3102
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2015 3:04 pm
Location: Idaho

Re: Old friend died

Postby StraightForward » Mon Oct 19, 2020 7:32 pm

I'm sorry Sue, that sounds terribly complicated and sad. :(
Keep calm and canter on.

Ryeissa
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 2349
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2015 1:41 pm

Re: Old friend died

Postby Ryeissa » Mon Oct 19, 2020 10:36 pm

so sorry for your loss.

User avatar
Flight
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 1811
Joined: Sun Oct 11, 2015 11:39 pm
Location: Australia

Re: Old friend died

Postby Flight » Tue Oct 20, 2020 12:23 am

Sorry for your loss Sue B.

PaulaO
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 2174
Joined: Sun Oct 11, 2015 4:16 pm
Location: Northern Illinois

Re: Old friend died

Postby PaulaO » Tue Oct 20, 2020 12:31 am

I’m very sorry Sue. I lost both my brothers to their addictions. Yes, you think “couldn’t they have made better choices?” It’s all very sad.

KathyK
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 1123
Joined: Sun Oct 11, 2015 1:19 pm
Location: Beautiful Aurora, Ohio

Re: Old friend died

Postby KathyK » Tue Oct 20, 2020 12:38 am

It's terrible when a person with such tremendous abilities and heart falls prey to her demons. I'm so sorry, Sue.

Lipsmackerpony88
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 1354
Joined: Sat Apr 25, 2020 3:17 pm

Re: Old friend died

Postby Lipsmackerpony88 » Tue Oct 20, 2020 2:27 am

Oh gosh. I'm sorry. I understand the feelings you are having but please don't feel guilty. You did what you had to do. It's tragic to see people go down that road and battle addiction.

demi
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 2218
Joined: Sun Oct 11, 2015 7:02 pm
Location: Texas

Re: Old friend died

Postby demi » Tue Oct 20, 2020 1:16 pm

I feel for you, Sue. I have experience growing up in a small rural town with a childhood friend. We knew each other when we were babies, went all through school together, and are still like sisters 67 years later...we’ve had serious ups and downs in our friendship and several periods where we didnt communicate for years at a time. I have some very real issues with her outlook on life, but still, I’d be very much conflicted and have all sorts of strange feelings if she died.

I am sorry...

Sue B
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 1185
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2015 2:55 pm
Location: Spud country (Idaho)

Re: Old friend died

Postby Sue B » Tue Oct 20, 2020 4:53 pm

i am so sorry for your loss Paula. Coming on 3 years since my nephew died from an overdose. Every time he went through rehab and sober living, he was sure that THIS time would be forever, but the longest he ever made it was a year and a few months. Ironically, he overdosed celebrating his sobriety! At least he kept trying!

Tanga
500 post plus club
Posts: 959
Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2019 2:32 am

Re: Old friend died

Postby Tanga » Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:15 pm

I am so sorry.

Tarlo Farm
500 post plus club
Posts: 866
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2015 5:20 pm
Location: NW Michigan

Re: Old friend died

Postby Tarlo Farm » Wed Oct 21, 2020 12:51 pm

That's so sad, and simply life. I'm sorry for you. I know it's still difficult to lose someone who was a great friend in our younger years.

User avatar
Boudicea
Novice
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 6:45 pm

Re: Old friend died

Postby Boudicea » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:18 am

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, Sue. Something you said has resonated with me. I've had my bouts with depression and anxiety and during these times it does really feel like there is just no future. Everything feels negative. Maybe it will help to think about this and to try to imagine a world of possibilities next time I'm feeling blue. So thanks for your words.

Sue B
Bringing Life to the DDBB
Posts: 1185
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2015 2:55 pm
Location: Spud country (Idaho)

Re: Old friend died

Postby Sue B » Thu Oct 22, 2020 4:47 pm

Boudicea, I'm glad I could be of help. When I'm feeling especially down (and sometimes even angry) I look around for some way to help others. That's partly why I'm a 4-H volunteer and (used to be) active in my little community church (which is under seige right now, but that's a whole nother depressing story, lol) and, of course, a rural veterinarian. This world is truly filled with endless possibility. hang out with a bunch of goofy teens and tweens and they will show you the way! :lol: :lol:


Return to “The Observation Lounge/ Cookbook Forum even Hot Topics”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 54 guests