DefinitelyDressage.com

I guess I'm clearing my mind more than anything else here. Sorry for the ramble.

I've been at my current barn for about 11 years, and I've been very happy there on the whole and the care has been great. However, we have no indoor, and I'm 11 years older than I was when I first moved in, and this last winter has been just impossible, the weather has been dreadful, I rode 3 times in January. When I do ride, the ring is full of jumps, and it is a weird shape that makes things a bit difficult for dressage.

My trainer, bless her, is great when she's there, but a total flake, finds excuses not to come as often as she comes, promises to coach at shows, then doesn't turn up. I'm the only vaguely competitive dressage rider in the barn so if I show I'm on my own.

Current barn is 20 minutes from my office but 45 minutes from home. Life is potentially changing and I will, I hope, be working from home more in the future. However, to make this happen, I'm working my butt off at the moment, I've also got 3 horses at home that need my care and attention, and my husband likes to see me sometimes... and I'm so frickin' exhausted something's got to give.

So, I have discovered that there is a new dressage trainer in town who has taken over a barn about 5 minutes from my house. It's a very nice barn, small, adult, great care, lovely turnout, heated indoor, full-sized outdoor dressage arena, team-oriented. I'm going to see the place tomorrow--I talked to the trainer and the first thing she did was to invite me to come watch her teach. I like her philosophy based on our phone conversation, and she claims to be happy for me to trailer out and work with my current trainer as well as with her.

This is a bit of a big deal for me. If it as nice as it sounds, then the advantages are pretty obvious. I'm sure it will be hugely more expensive than where I am now, but I'm at the point where I'll find it from somewhere if it's up to scratch and I think my horse will be happy there.

But I'm "leaving home." Leaving my friends and horsey family. My current trainer won't come any more when I leave so the only other dressage rider in the barn, who has been a good friend over the years, will be left in the lurch. My trainer, and indeed my barn friend, were instrumental in my getting my lovely horse.

Ugh.

I've never boarded or agisted,so I find the whole barn concept pretty foreign.
However, the new barn sounds pretty exciting, a heated indoor!! Leaving your old place of 11 years would be a bit sad too I expect, but riding is important. I figure we pay heaps to keep these beasties so we need to do what we enjoy.

This new barn has many positives that you noted and it sounds like you are ready to move on. Maybe there is another opening and your friend will seriously consider a move too. Good Luck!

I hope that it works out for you. You can't stay so that your friend can continue to have lessons. If I boarded it would so that I'd have access to an indoor.

You do what is best for you, not your flakey trainer. Maybe your friend will move with you. It's scary, but also fun. Good luck!

That the trainer right away invited you to observe her teaching is a big positive. Five minutes from your home? My barn is two minutes away. If you can tolerate this terrible commute and everything else is a good as it sounds, go. It's emotionally difficult to change barns, I know, but in your case, lack of an indoor is a very good reason, one that your current BO cannot take personally.

why not consider training with this new trainer?

hauling out 1.5 round trip to work with a trainer who , you say, is somewhat a flake

plus additional work at home

I am confused.

I hope you change barns. The new place sounds wonderful, and only five minutes from home!!! I don't get when people talk about leaving barns as if they think they can never see their friends again. I just don't get that. Some of my horse friends board, some have their horses at home. We usually get together once or twice a month for a meal and hours of great conversation.

I do understand the pangs of leaving your old barn. I definitely get the impression from your post that you'll only turn down the new barn if there's a quality reason to do so, not out of hesitating to leave the old. But, as you say, you're leaving home, and there has been a whole lot of good there for you in the past. And barn relationships are often difficult to maintain when someone leaves. How many hours are there in a day....? At best, they change, but more often, they fade away.

But you also secretly know that once the move is made, assuming things are as good as they sound, that you'll look back with fondness, but no regrets about leaving.

Hugs and jingles for you, that the new barn is everything it sounds like!

Sounds like the new barn is wonderful. That the trainer offered for you to come watch her teach, well that's a big plus in her favor! I would definitely take advantage of that offer. Maybe something there will crop up to make you go "hmm, maybe not", (because maybe a new barn mate will be a personality you'd have a hard time getting along with, or not liking the way that person treats their horse) or it just might make the barn look so appealing that you don't feel so bad leaving your current barn.

It's a tough decision to make, but like others have said, you can't stay where you are just out of a sense of obligation to the other boarders or students there. You need to do what is best for you and your horse. If you aren't happy without an indoor and more riding opportunities, then it is time to move.

It really sounds wonderful, you'll know what the right thing is when you visit, and when you find out how much it is. Good luck!

Moutaineer, life just is not perfect. I have been in your shoes. The barn at which I board is (now) 5 minutes away. I now ride a lot. Every day, or nearly every day. And I can visit / do horse health necessities during the day. Moving your horse will change your life for the better. You will ride. A lot. Your horse will see you. A lot. The overall quality of your life / relationships will also improve. Now, it means gradually letting go of some relationships, because your good friends need real time with you, and that is going to be hard to manage. (Why can't we just have it all?!) You have a lovely horse (in a lovely bridle!) and you will make much more progress if you can ride more frequently, and have more regular instruction. But you already know that.

Good luck with your new options! It would be awesome if your barn bud moved, too (if it is right for all). I live 5 minutes from my boarding barn. After a 50 minute work commute, that is a godsend. I love being able to pop over and check on ms. mare. Plus, I do ride 5 times/week very consistently. A covered arena and lights helps that happen through winter.

it's nice of you to be so concerned about your current barn people. The move sounds like such a good thing all around and it could be such a boon to your riding. Those friends that were so instrumental in you getting your beautiful boy will probably be happy that you have such a great opportunity, even thou they'll miss you...11 years is a long time.

Best of luck.

I big part of riding is also the social aspect. You are not just leaving your barn, you are leaving your friends. It is not easy. However, I would take the hit for an indoor if it were me.

Good luck

I understand your angst. I hope the new barn is everything it sounds to be, and the new trainer is a good fit for you. I think you'll know when you are there, especially if you get that feeling of "I wish I were here".

If your barn friends are really friends they will be happy to see you get yourself into a less-exhausting situation.

Do go watch the lesson(s). Talk money. Get the feel of the place.

Well, it's very interesting. Nice 10 stall barn, only 5 filled at the moment an she only wants 7 or 8, clean, organized, contented horses. Nice indoor, about 40 meters by 20, good, Premier footing. Enormous outdoor with apparently the same footing, but still under snow. Decent individual turnouts.

I liked the way she teaches. Technical, and correct. She takes lessons from our local top trainer, goes to clinics, continues her education, shows. Has her own young Friesian mare. She's also a grown-up.

The only thing I would have against her is that she is an international-level talker. But I can probably shut that down

The facility is what I can only describe as unusual... I should start by saying that we have a goodly share of 1%ers in this town, full or part time. So maybe this isn't that odd... The original barn, which has been there for about 15 years, was, if I remember rightly, about a 25 or 30 stall barn. Actually far too big for the property it is on, with a rather junky house. There were attempts to run it as a boarding barn over the years, but the neighbors always managed to shut it down (business license issues, watershed issues. They have calmed down now there are a manageable # of stalls and horses on the property and it doesn't look like a crap heap.)

The current owners (not the trainer) bought the property about 4 years ago. They knocked down the junky house and built a palatial residence. She is a rider, but they have a son who is apparently a junior ice hockey whizz--he is in hockey school on Long Island and they commute back and forth, this is their second home. So, they converted about 2/3 of the barn into a private ice rink for him. How about that. You think horse people have expensive facilities...

So yesterday when I went was perfect. There was a hockey tournament going on in the rink. She'd warned me that it might be chaotic and not such a good day to go see, but I always want to see a place at its worst. The parking was packed, but once inside the barn and indoor, you wouldn't have known there was anything going on. Seriously good insulation.

So that was good. It's quite a bit more expensive than where I am now, but I think Calvin hit the nail on the head about the advantages. And gas isn't going to stay at $2 a gallon for ever.

And my lesson with current trainer got cancelled this morning, again, so I think my decision was just made for me.

It sounds great! I'd love to be five minutes from my horses. That alone would be the kicker for me, being able to pop in to say high and just groom or check on things quickly. With a heated indoor and a reliable trainer, you and Laddy will make great progress. Having fun following along on his voyage after knowing him as a young pup.

Private hockey rink at a second home. I seriously am not in the know about how the 1% lives.

Pack up and move! Will you start hockey training??? LOL

Start packing and enjoy spending more time riding your horse!! It certainly sounds like more individual care for horses being in a small boarding barn. Heated indoor and safe footing in rings is awesome. It shows the owner cares about quality and obviously invested in this property. The instructor sounds knowledgeable and reliable to be there for your lesson schedule. GO FOR IT!!

Well, I handed in my notice at the old barn today. My dear barn owner, who has been a great friend and taken excellent care of my horses over the years, told me that she was actually quite grateful as she is stretched to the limit at the moment as she is care-taking for her 90+ year old grandpa who has just had a stroke, as well as her young family and all of us, and is trying to downsize a bit. So things work out for the best.

Glad things are working out well!! I went to try a horse once, there was an apartment above the barn, and an attached arena. In the summer it was for riding, in the winter, it was a hockey rink (boards & everything) for the sons to play on. 1%.

Here's the thing - just leave your current barn on good terms so you can go back if it doesn't work out.

I could get over just about anything to have my horse 5 min from home, so it would be a no brainer for me

Congrats on your new barn! I've been there, and leaving a facility that you grew to love is hard to do. The last boarding barn I left, I was really sad, but the breaking point for me was when the barn owner didn't want my trimmer (who is also my coach and trainer), to stick around after she was done trimming my horse. "Have her do her business and leave please" was the text I got, that made my decision to leave much easier.

Sounds like the new place is amazing, a hockey rink with a riding arena, this is every Canadian's dream!!! (well, at least this Canadian thinks so!)

Have fun and enjoy your many rides!

Good luck with the move! Glad it helps out your current barn, too.

Just saw this, congrats!! Moving is hard. Even without horses. I ride other people ' horses and I go where the horses are. I still really miss my friends from my barn I left in 2011. I left a great horse and friends because I had been sick and wanted to devote more energy and time to training and racing my bikes. I finally got back to horses after a few years, but at different places. There are good people most places and you will keep in touch with your good friends. Wishing you the best!!

The new barn sounds great if unusual! It's so much fun being at a barn with other people with the same interests. I understand how you are finding it hard to leave a barn where you are comfortable though. All the best with your move.

sounds wonderful

price difference calculations also extend to your own time wear and tear.

long commutes suck your soul, even if it is to and from the barn

I bet her verbosity will settle when she gets to know you. Perhaps she is a nervous prattler.

I got my March bill from the old barn today, and sat down and ran the numbers between the two places just for the hell of it. When I add in all of the things that have become "extras" over the years, and add in the gas I will be saving even at $2 a gallon, I'm at about $60 difference between the two for most of the year... No brainer.

Sounds like a really good move. Hope you really enjoy the 1.5-songs-on-the-radio commute!

Sounds great. Horses and hockey! What could be better? Do boarders get to skate, too?

ooh sounds perfect! Good luck. I really hope everything works out as well as it sounds like it will!

Skating... I tried to learn in my 20's. I fell over a lot, and lying there splayed on the ice surrounded by people with sharp knives attached to their feet freaked me out. I could see my fingers getting sliced off by some other random beginner.

So I gave that up!

Sounds like a very good move. When will you head over?

Moutaineer wrote:Skating... I tried to learn in my 20's. I fell over a lot, and lying there splayed on the ice surrounded by people with sharp knives attached to their feet freaked me out. I could see my fingers getting sliced off by some other random beginner.

So I gave that up!

On my first skating effort I actually saw some one fall, hand out, person behind could not stop, amputation occurred. Your fear is real.

Chisamba wrote:

Moutaineer wrote:Skating... I tried to learn in my 20's. I fell over a lot, and lying there splayed on the ice surrounded by people with sharp knives attached to their feet freaked me out. I could see my fingers getting sliced off by some other random beginner.

So I gave that up!

On my first skating effort I actually saw some one fall, hand out, person behind could not stop, amputation occurred. Your fear is real.

OMG!!!!! How awful!! And what a hijack! But I gotta say, as a child I fell in front of my brother, fingers splayed, and the toe of his figure skate stopped in the webbing of my left hand ring finger. Fifty years later I still have the perfect two parallel scars that stop just where the finger joins the hand. Digression. Sorry, carry on.

Fergus, I will move at the end of March. 30 days notice at old barn.

I can't wait...

I used to lease a ten stall barn with covered arena and pasture that was next to a music studio. The owners had two grown children. The girl had loved horses, hence the barn and arena. The boy was into music, hence the studio.