A few jingles for my dear old dad, please...

[Moutaineer]

My father, who is 85 and has some mild dementia, caught a cold a week or so ago, which turned into pneumonia, complete with hallucinations, and was taken into hospital on Friday morning.

Last night, he somehow managed to fall out of bed and broke his femur in 3 places. He's not yet been into surgery as the hospital is wildly overstretched, apparently (sufficiently wildly overstretched that they didn't put the bed rails up on a demented, hallucinating and restless patient, it would seem), and is not doing very well--very restless, keeps trying to pull his lines out, etc. For some reason they are not sedating him, which would seem the kindest thing to do. he was to go into surgery this evening but got bumped again for an emergency so it looks like it will be tomorrow morning.

All this is taking place in England, which is a very long way from here. Realistically at the moment there is not a lot I could do if I was to drop everything and go, but I am feeling very helpless. My brother is closer, in Germany, and will head over when my stepmother feels it appropriate.

[Sunshine2Me]

~~jingles~~ for your dad to recover quickly.

[Canyon]

Hugs and jingles for your dad, stepmother, you and your extended family. It is so hard to be far away from parents when they are ailing.

[demi]

So sorry, Mountaineer.

[Chisamba]

Gosh, I am sure that is very stressful for you and painful for him. Many jingles.

[Rhianon]

Lots of jingles. That's really hard.

[khall]

Wow, major jingles headed your dad's way. That is some tuff stuff to deal with.

[Kyra's Mom]

Jingles. It is tough and then being so far away.

{{{HUGS}}}

Susan

[bailey]

Jingles for your dad Mountaineer, also for you and your family.

[StraightForward]

Jingling!

[Wicky]

Jingles!!! Mountains of Jingles!!!

[carpevita]

A million jingles and hugs headed your way.

[Kelo]

Jingles for him and for you!

[Code3]

Jingles! Hard to be so far away.

[Tarlo Farm]

Awwww, love the old folks. Jingles to him and you.

[PaulaO]

Jingles for your dad (and prayers, too) .

[KathyK]

What a terrible situation for him, and for you, too. Wishing him well.

[goldhorse]

Many many Jingles!

[Moutaineer]

No news as yet this morning. I'm taking that as meaning he's had surgery and no news is good news. It's a bit frustrating being at the far end of the information conduit.

[onetrickpony]

Ugh, situations like this are so tough. Jingles for you both.

[Moutaineer]

Came through the surgery well, is somewhat coherent today, now they have to get him sitting up a bit so his lungs can clear. Ugh, poor guy.

[Avola]

Jingles for a good a swift recovery

[snftrs2]

Big time jingles and hugs for you and your dad!! It's sooo hard to be at a distance when this stuff happens.

It's really tough to have a person with dementia in the hospital. I don't know if this would work in the UK but could you arrange a private attendant for a few days? It doesn't need to be a nurse so that helps to keep the cost down - an aid would be fine. The person stays with the patient, 24x7, and can be sure they get enough to eat/drink, don't fall out of bed (or get up and leave the room), don't take out IVs, calm them if there are hallucinations .... you get the picture.

My aunt has dementia and was in the hospital with pneumonia. She's adorable but strong willed and very active. There's no way a U.S. hospital could supervise her adequately so she would have been put in restraints just to keep her in bed My cousin and I found a small biz that helps out-of-area relatives with this kind of situation. They helped us arrange aids to stay with my aunt, avoiding the restraint situation. It worked so well we've basically kept the biz "on retainer" so that they've got my aunt's records and can help us on short notice. If my aunt goes in the hospital suddenly, they'll send a competent adult to stay with her, take notes on medical stuff and stay in touch with family until we can get there (3-4 hours by car). Maybe there's a hospital social worker that could advise about any options or what they'd recommend for a patient with dementia?

Fingers crossed and jingling
Snftrs2

[Don Giovanni]

jingles for your dad, and a bunch for you too.

[Moutaineer]

Snftrs, that's a great idea.

My stepmother finally seems to have got the idea that it's OK to ask for help and it's OK to spend his money on it... She's in charge, and if I know her she's all but sleeping at the hospital anyway, but I can only hope she is looking after herself and taking help from others.

[Sue B]

I am so sorry for you and your dad. Lots of healing jingles from Idaho.

[chantal]

Jingles, prayers and lots of good thoughts. Gosh, I'm sorry, this has got to be hard on you and him and your family.

[Silverado]

Jingles and prayers for you, your family & Dad.

[boots-aregard]

Snftrs, that's a great idea.

My stepmother finally seems to have got the idea that it's OK to ask for help and it's OK to spend his money on it... She's in charge, and if I know her she's all but sleeping at the hospital anyway, but I can only hope she is looking after herself and taking help from others.

Yeah, hope so, too. Many times family members exhaust themselves before they are willing to ask for help. Then you have TWO sick elders. Hiring help is a good idea if you can. Someone fresh, who HAS slept, who knows how to handle dementia patients...

[snftrs2]

I'm so glad he's through surgery. Ditto what boots said ... The dementia play book always has cautions (in big red letters) about caregivers becoming worn out and injuring themselves or their health. Then there's two folks to be cared for, sigh. So nice that your step-mom is devoted to him. Hopefully she'll listen to advice about caring for herself in prep for the days ahead.

[Snork]

Sounds like things are looking better. I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. Jingles!

[scruffy the cat]

This sounds hard for everyone- hard for him and so hard for you.

[Moutaineer]

He's still very incoherent, but sitting in a chair and feeding himself, and being weaned off the abx for the pneumonia. The hospital has admitted responsibility for the fall, whatever that means.

My poor stepmother. Her car died this week too. She doesn't want to get a new one until she knows what his mobility is going to be like as they may now have to prematurely cope with a wheelchair.

Ugh.

[Rhianon]

Ah, Mountaineer. It's so hard. Ugh indeed.

[MagicEm]

sending jingles to your, your dad, and your extended family. What a difficult situation.

[M&M]

Hopefully it means lots of financial assistance for getting him into someplace wonderful, or to pay for aides as Snftrs was discussing. Doesn't make up for all the pain, exhaustion and stress for him and his family, but it would be something.

Jingling for you and all involved.

[PaulaO]

Continued jingles and prayers for your dad.